


calm before the storm

by v1ewmonster



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Crying, Dialogue, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, My First Work in This Fandom, POV Third Person, Present Tense, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25957123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v1ewmonster/pseuds/v1ewmonster
Summary: Kurapika and Queen Oito share a heart to heart moment.
Relationships: Oito Hui Guo Rou & Kurapika
Kudos: 18





	calm before the storm

**Author's Note:**

> hey hxh fandom,, i just recently finished and started hyperfixating on this series and it's time to fuckin party  
> i'll prolly post a few more fics since i have a shitton of ideas (most of them will be kurapika-centric bc i have brainrot lol) but for now, you get this!! there needs to be more gen kurapika-centric fics in this world and i'm here to provide. also krpk Deserves to act more vulnerable towards others, esp in canon

The room appears to be eerily silent. Nobody is in sight, and maybe that’s a good thing. Kurapika sits up from his bed. He’s been lying down in tangled sheets for more than a few minutes. He adjusts his contacts while he struggles to make sense of what he’s been told. Apparently Emperor Time had been activated hours after he collapsed. Hearing the sudden news makes him want to scold himself for being so miscalculated, but he relents. Maybe it’s for the best. 

“I’ll leave you two alone now,” Bill says, body facing the door. “I’m sure you need more rest.”

This prompts Kurapika to spring from his bed immediately. “But what about…?”

“We’ll take care of it! For now, you just need some rest.”

Before Kurapika could object, Bill already starts to walk away, leaving Kurapika and Queen Oito to their own devices. Woble reaches for Kurapika’s hand once again, and he obliges. A lack of a job fills him with a profound emptiness. And with that, comes a barrage of unneeded thoughts. 

He thinks about his friends first. Leorio is the only person he’s seen in a long time, but what about Gon and Killua? He wonders what they’re doing without his guidance. Moreover, he wonders how  _ Gon  _ is doing. Recovering well, he hopes. He clutches his chest with a chained hand. The beating of his heart syncs well with his racing thoughts. He wants them to  _ stop,  _ but they’re unable to, especially on command. How could he ignore his friend like that? On his deathbed, no less! There’s nothing he could have done to help him out, but… 

He thinks about Pairo next. Wait until he hears that he’s failed yet another friend! This is why he chooses not to make friends… he’ll disappoint them no matter which action he takes, and he’ll push them away whenever possible. Yet they stick to him like glue, as if everything he’s done until now is justified. 

“You seem to be thinking hard about something,” Oito’s voice startles him out of his thoughts. He slowly turns to face her, which causes his thoughts to skid to a halt. 

“What about it?” 

“Well,” Oito says, looking down at Woble, “you look to have something on your mind, and I want to…”

“I assume you want closure,” Kurapika finishes. “I refuse.” 

Oito clicks her tongue. “We’re going to be working together. It would be best for me to know a little bit about your background before we continue on.” 

Kurapika faces the bed, hair covering his face. So she’s asking him to go  _ that  _ far… he’s not sure if he should tell her about the source of his vengeance. They’ll very likely never cross paths after this, and even if they do, can he trust her with this information? She’s already starting to figure him out piece by piece. 

He clenches his teeth. He can at least tell her  _ one  _ thing… open up just this once… can he even allow himself to do it? When was the last time he confided in  _ anyone  _ with sensitive information? Leorio… Izunavi… he figures it wouldn’t  _ hurt  _ to tell another person. Maybe it will quell the thoughts that cross his mind each day. 

“Fine,” Kurapika mutters. “But don’t repeat this to anyone else.” 

Oito dips her head in affirmation. Kurapika looks down at his hands interlocked with each other. They’re clammy and cold and Kurapika has never felt so uncomfortable in his life. His tuxedo clings tightly to his skin, it’s  _ suffocating. _ He wants to  _ go back  _ to wearing traditional clothing and playing with Pairo, but that life has been taken away from him. His poor friend has given up the ghost and now appears as a spectre before him. 

“I…” He laughs. “This is so stupid.” 

“No it isn’t,” Oito assures. “Keep going.” 

He continues to face the bed.  _ Here goes nothing.  _ “I’ve… failed as a friend… multiple times. I’ve put two of them in danger because of my impulsivity, never checked up on another, and was responsible for the death of one I’ve known for  _ years,”  _ There’s an intense gleam in his eyes. He can already sense his eyes turning scarlet. “I didn’t even visit the one I deeply respect in the hospital when he needed me most.” His hands shake with an unknown panic. “What kind of friend am I if I just… push them away like this? I even  _ meant  _ to do it.” 

A hand lightly touches his face. Hot, stinging tears roll down his face, and a wave of dejection replaces the previous wave of anger. Oito shoots him a sympathetic look, his face cupped in her hands. Kurapika shoves her hands away immediately. The only thing he can do is cry into his own, let it all out until there’s nothing left. 

He’s embarrassed by the sound of his own sobs. It’s a sound he hasn’t heard in a long time, since word broke out that his clan had been massacred. How long can he bottle up his feelings until he eventually breaks? It’s all so unclear.

“I never even dared to… call Gon… ask him how he’s doing.” Kurapika says hopelessly. His hands are still meshed together. When he disengages, they’re still perspiring prior to his anxiety. 

“Kurapika…” Oito says. She lowers her eyes in shame. “I…” She clenches her jaw. What is there to say?

“It’s fine,” Kurapika replies. “This isn’t even the worst of it.” 

Oito shakes her head. “That doesn’t matter, you’re still hurt from it. I suggest you give your friend a call sometime. I’m sure he doesn’t hate you and has other business to tend to.” 

Kurapika tightens his grip on his shoulders. “You’re sure about this…?” 

A mere nod is what tells Kurapika that everything is going to be okay. Though he doesn’t believe it, he can rest knowing that Gon doesn’t hate him for abandoning him. 

“Later,” Kurapika says, standing up. “For now, we need to focus on the mission. We mustn’t waste time.” 

Oito follows suit, Woble resting peacefully in her arms. “Right.” 

Kurapika glances at his hand, then at the door in front of him. Batting away a few stray tears here and there, he’s not surprised that these emotions remain. He swallows down all the anxieties that threaten to push their way to the forefront of his mind. He reaches the door, and when Pairo appears at the corner of his vision, he ignores him. He’ll deal with him later when he’s… not rattled by suppressed emotions. 

He knows exactly what he’s going to do once he reaches the Dark Continent. And this time, he will hold himself accountable for what he’s done, whether it’s the right decision or not. 


End file.
